The Merilyn Show
What does it really mean to lead your world in an age of collapse, awakening, and reinvention? Merilyn speaks with entrepreneurs, thinkers, creatives and changemakers who are dismantling the old rules of business, success, power and self.
These aren’t celebrity interviews.
These are legacy conversations.
For those creating what doesn’t yet exist.
Hosted by Merilyn Wilson Beretta, founder of the Tall Poppy Society, Lead Your World and WowArchetypes.
Instagram: @merilyn
Website: merilyn.com
The Merilyn Show
333. What if you're already the one? | Melanie Ann Layer
What happens when you dare to abandon others' blueprints and forge your own destiny? My profound conversation with Melanie Ann Layer of Alpha Femme reveals just that. From navigating life in her car to manifesting a global empire, Melanie's journey is a testament to the sacred alchemy of leading from within.
We explore the pivotal shift from external striving to embodying the magnificent force you already are. Melanie shares philosophies like "pineapple season is coming" for divine timing, "for me, for you, for us" for authentic connection, and "I am the one or the one who got away" for pure sovereignty.
This dialogue transcends old paradigms, inviting you to see growth as an exhilarating exploration of boundless potential. Melanie's ultimate legacy? Cultivating a future where daughters celebrate their mothers' powerful paths.
This conversation isn't just about success—it's about transmuting its very definition into an experience of sublime unfolding.
Find Melanie on Instagram: @melanieannlayer and @alphafemme
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Follow me on Instagram: @merilyn
Website: merilyn.com
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Well, hello there, I'm Marilyn. Welcome to my show. Today I'm talking with the one and only Melanie Ann Lea.
Speaker 2:It eased when I realized that I was Alpha Femme, when I realized I don't need to worry about what I'm going to be when I grow up. I love who I am. If I was this for the rest of time, I'd be proud. I don't need to think about the future anymore. That was a really cool moment to think about the future anymore.
Speaker 1:That was a really cool moment. Melanie is the brilliant mind behind Alpha Femme, a global brand she built from humble beginnings to a multi, multi-million dollar coaching company. Her revolutionary teachings are absolutely transforming how women lead their lives and businesses worldwide. Let's dive in. Melanie and Leah, affectionately known as Lenny, welcome to my show.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you so much for having me. It is an honor and I am so happy to be here.
Speaker 1:I have to say I found you, or I should say I manifested you, because a few years ago I really was struggling with and I use that word on purpose with the whole formulaic, probably masculine side of especially online business and my heart was saying, please, I want to see examples of people doing it their way, doing it differently, and is it possible? And you came into my life and I have thoroughly enjoyed allowing you to just completely change the way things are done for me and show that example.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Well, that is brilliant. I am so happy and it makes my day to hear that.
Speaker 1:I'd like to start with, not your signature story. I think if the listeners, if the listeners want to, you know they've never heard of you and they'd love to know the story about you know, living out of your car, all of that just do some research, go research your podcasts, search in Melanie, ann Lay or Alpha Femme and you will find plenty of ways that she tells that story. And what I love about you, melanie, is you do tell it differently every time. You keep it fresh. But we're not going to go there today. I would like to know. You were thrust into responsibility at a very young age. You were asked to help your parents financially. You looked after your siblings which were a little bit younger than you. What did baby Melanie, what did young Melanie want to do when she grew up?
Speaker 2:It's so funny because I just remember wanting to be an artist, like an illustrator or something Like. I loved performing, singing, ah yeah, but I also knew that that would be completely unacceptable. So from a very young age I had no idea what I should do, because I had two ideas and I remember my dream was to be a singer and to just be able to be creative. But then if I couldn't do that, I wanted to be a criminal lawyer and my dad didn't want me to.
Speaker 1:Wow, how young were you? When you remember thinking that Very young.
Speaker 2:Very young. Yeah, I remember a girl at school was going through something really terrible. Something had happened to her sister and they had managed to catch the bad guy and, thinking, like, I want to be the person that catches the bad guy. And the year after that happened in school, in one of the projects we were given at school, there was this whole thing where we had all these clues and we had to figure out what had happened.
Speaker 2:And I was obsessed with the school project. I got the best grades I'd ever gotten in any project of my life and all I could do is think about it. And I was obsessed with the school project. I got the best grades I'd ever gotten in any project of my life and all I could do was think about it. And I just remember telling. So I'd already told my dad I wanted to be a singer, which he had said you can't do that. And then I also told him then fine, if I can't be a singer, then I shall be a criminal lawyer. And he was like no, you can't do that either. He was like you don't understand the danger you'll be putting yourself in. He sold me all against it. So I really did not know what I was going to do. Apart from the things I wanted to do, I just know that. I just knew there was something I should be doing, that I didn't know what. So from a very young age I felt the stress of not knowing what I should be.
Speaker 1:When did that stress ease? When did that?
Speaker 2:stress ease. I think it eased when I realized that I was Alpha Femme, when I realized I don't need to worry about what I'm going to be when I grow up. I love who I am. If I was this for the rest of time, I'd be proud. I don't need to think about the future anymore.
Speaker 1:That was a really cool moment.
Speaker 2:And that would have only been a few years ago, really. Oh yeah, like 2021. Like when I really thought to myself I don't need to think about what I want to be when I grow up anymore. I remember, probably an interview I had at some point in 2021 made me realize that, where it was like someone had asked me what do you want to do next after this? And I was like I just see this in different iterations, I see this on a greater scale, I see this with maybe plus being an author, or and I see this plus bringing back all the things that I love. I've been able to sing again. I've been able to do the things that I really love as passions. I've actually brought back everything, and it's been wild to see how much of the passions I originally had have held their place here.
Speaker 1:Did you have a sense at a young age that you were born for something unusual or great?
Speaker 2:No, I really just hoped I could make my parents proud. That was really all I really cared about at that point. That was really my most important thing. I wanted them to be so proud of me. I just remember that being really the measuring stick for almost every decision I ever made until I was about 25 years old. What's your?
Speaker 1:thoughts on that sort of bigger calling of leadership that you know you are moving into.
Speaker 2:It really feels like and it's something interesting because you said at times people have told you leadership is really only something that you would do inside of a marketplace or inside of the workforce. It's not something that you would do for individuals. But the thing is the rise of the entrepreneur. It's a real thing Like more and more people are becoming self-made, self-led. If they don't have leadership, they can only go as far as their own capacity to lead themselves, which for most people, isn't even beyond their own noses. So they've got big dreams, they've got visionary dreams, but in reality, they're not making any of those dreams manifest because they can't lead themselves to the execution. And so what I'm really seeing is that this isn't teaching leadership, it's leading leadership. It's not a concept. The people who are drawn to this with me are very aware that if they don't lead themselves, their dream isn't going anywhere. And so it's like the most incredible thing, because I'm not teaching leadership. That's not even how I feel. I feel like I'm leading leadership.
Speaker 2:I'm saying let's make your life what you want it to be. What do we need to move? What's stuck? What's not moving? Where are you afraid? And it's causing you to not lead yourself? Where have you got to block, in whatever area. Whether you want to create a multi-million dollar business, whether you want to create a family dynamic that's beyond anything you were ever shown, whether you want to change generational wealth in your family, whether you want to lead a movement or a paradigm shift on earth, it doesn't matter what it is. If you can't lead yourself and then other people, nothing changes. And so there's a lot of people with big dreams right now, but not a lot of people with big results.
Speaker 2:So leadership is the catalyst, the gateway to that, and what I kind of see is that at any age we have stories about what we can and can't do. I remember being 25 and thinking I was too old. I think about that, I laugh, but it was like my life's over. A lot of my friends were getting married and having babies and I was sleeping in the front seat of a Honda Civic. Like my life was ruined. I was 25. It's like we don't realize you're not too young.
Speaker 2:And then I have women in their forties, fifties telling me I'm too old. I'm like have you lost your marbles? You're not even in your prime yet. Like, keep moving, you know. And so I feel like age really doesn't matter and I think that if I could, if I could lead from a younger age, then I'll be able to lead well into my quote unquote old age, it won't matter. I think I want to defy that. I want to defy time and everything that I do and how long things take and how early is too early and too late is too late. I want to redefine all of that. So I think it'll be a cool thing for me, when I'm 100, to be leading people into the future, knowing I've been doing that since before people even took me seriously. Who?
Speaker 1:inspires you as a great leader, dead or alive, or even fiction.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I have so many people.
Speaker 2:Every single story of like through adversity into triumph has been my bedtime stories.
Speaker 2:You know, along my journey, anyone from the Beatles, who were told they couldn't sing, to Meryl Streep, who told she wasn't pretty enough for television, to Oprah, who was told she only didn't have what it took to even be on the radio, who then ended up having her own channel to you know, martin Luther King, having our own channel to you know, martin Luther King to it doesn't matter.
Speaker 2:Like any leader that had to go through or was faced with extreme adversity always reminds me I haven't seen anything yet of how hard this could be. This is still easy enough to not give up, no matter what I'm going through. Like these people have inspired me so greatly on my journey, and what I've really seen is like leaders make history. Like you want to remember somebody, you remember the legends, the legends of people who made history and they led in some sort of capacity. And so, for me, the people who inspire me the most are the ones who've led some kind of progress or change on the planet and have a story about how it wasn't in the cards for them, how they had to stand for something or stand against something, despite the odds, and made a difference. Those are the people that really matter to me in my journey the most.
Speaker 1:What breaks your heart most about the world right now? What would you change?
Speaker 2:You know, I just feel like with social media, it's such an incredible gift. Social media is such an incredible gift. Social media is such an incredible gift. It gives us an opportunity to connect to people all over the world. It gives us an opportunity for people to have a real voice and for us to share like a whole other renaissance, Like last time there was a development in communication the world totally changed.
Speaker 2:So if people really listened to how similar we all are, if we all really just talked and really listened to each other, I feel like this social media platform could be revolutionizing humanity. But instead, because so many people are conditioned for validation metrics, it's become an opportunity for validation instead of an opportunity for learning. People aren't looking to see what they don't know. They're looking to get likes on what they do know. They're looking to find the people who agree with them. They don't want to be challenged, they don't want to evolve, they don't want to grow, and I think the superficiality of social media and how a lot of things are just to be liked instead of to make progress or to make something amazing happen.
Speaker 2:I think that's my biggest sadness right now the online bullying and the hate and ganging up on people. It's so easy online. I think it's really unhealthy and I love social media. I see such an incredible opportunity. It would be much easier if I could just hate it and say let's not use it anymore. It's so toxic. But the fact is, I see the potential and I just wish I could inspire people to want to use it differently. But it's a big. It's a big request, it's a big ask.
Speaker 2:And the fact is, social media has been built in very addictive ways. You know, with this like intermittent rewards of people seeing your story and people liking your stuff and then all of a sudden you're invisible. And then you write one post and it barely gets nothing, but the next one gets a bunch of likes and people are constantly chasing that. Am I being seen? Am I being valued? Instead of I'm saying what I've got to say and whoever will see it will see it.
Speaker 2:But I'm saying what I've got to say. I'm building my voice Like. I care much less about the impact my voice has today. I care a lot more about what the impact of my voice will be in a decade and two decades from now. So who cares about how many likes it's getting now? What I care about is that the message is squeaky clean and that I'm building something that you know in a decade from now. If I want the world to hear it, I can make it around the world that I'm focusing on the bigger picture. I wish more people understood they could do that.
Speaker 1:Related to that is the tall poppy syndrome. Are you aware of that phrase? I have heard this phrase. Yeah, it's very much an Australian thing where we cut down people who rise above, talented people, people doing great things. What's your take on that?
Speaker 2:that, when people do want to rise or are rising, whether it's in sport, whether it's in business, whether it's in arts, there is this wanting to cut down and we see it in the social media all the time is that people have this false pedestal thing they do with people who succeed, where they imagine that in order for them to have become successful, they must have pulled the wool over everyone's eyes and pretended they were perfect somehow. And they think they can disprove their talent, their leadership, their grit by just finding a flaw. I think if they find enough flaws they can disprove the beauty. But like that's not how it works. I think the maturity is understanding.
Speaker 2:Everyone has an imperfect side. All human beings are imperfect. Everyone sees themselves at their worst in their lifetime, but not everyone gets to see themselves at their best. Not everyone has the discipline to go find out what they're capable of. So when you see someone who's really doing something extraordinary, they didn't do something extraordinary because they pulled the wool over everybody's eyes that they were perfect. They did it because, in the face of everything that was imperfect, same as everybody else, they were still able to be disciplined enough to go find something glorious. And so the thing I believe with the tall poppy syndrome, as you explain it, is that people are wanting to cut people down back to being normal. The fact is they are normal. It's just on top of their normal they built extraordinary. No-transcript, pointless.
Speaker 1:Speaking of being human, what do you still find really hard now?
Speaker 2:still find really hard now no-transcript, the one that would watch other people that succeeded and genuinely thinking to myself gosh, imagine being that person. Or gosh, imagine being able to do that. Or gosh, and those people not feeling quite as human as my mom or my aunt or my friend, like they were a persona more than a person. I remember that feeling towards other people, of it being like they had transcended outside of normal humanity into this iconic status.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when they were beyond just a person. They were now they made it, type kind of thing. And it always blows my mind, being a person, that I know some people look at me like that sometimes and how much of a human I really am and just being like gosh. If there was a way for me to just like I don't know how but lend you my brain for five minutes just so you can see what I'm trying to tell you. Like we have it in us right now to become successful, it's just we have to put down all the things that separates us from the people who are. We've got to create proximity to the people who are successful. That's why all those that cut people down push them away. It's like they're having a worse experience of it all because of that.
Speaker 2:Like the proximity to power, the actually being able to say like that's my mentor, that's my friend, that's I know this person, instead of like there's a girl on the internet, I heard this one podcast interview. It's like it's beyond that. You could be listening to this and we would just be talking like Marilyn, I could just be speaking on on the couch. Like it's not about who, it's like there's just people talking and if you can connect somehow, if you can be like a woman I know this person, I love this person, I care about. If you can find the proximity, if you can decide that you belong. All of a sudden all the codes become so much more transferable. People are just choosing people to learn from, like teachers at arm's length, instead of coming in with that mentor energy, that real like devotion to a person, like a friend you lock arms with and go the distance with. And I feel the craziest thing is how much I realized there is a veil or a thing in the way of me and people I never thought could be there.
Speaker 2:Because there was a time, five minutes ago, that I had to try to explain that I was good enough. And now I have to time five minutes ago that I had to try to explain that I was good enough. And now I have to explain I'm human. I don't know where that line got drawn, where, where. One day it was like, well, you know, you're just a human, what makes you good enough to say these things? And now it's like, well, yeah, but you're super human, Of course you know these things. And it's like no, no, no, no, no. Let's go back to the fact. Let's go back to the first thing that was easier to prove. It was easier for me to prove that I was good at this than for me to prove that I'm human, like that is the weird thing to try to prove that I'm normal, that I'm exactly the same, that if you listen to this, we're going places like that's. The most challenging thing is to know and to experience myself as not quite normal to people.
Speaker 1:That's weird because that can cause a disconnect with us and we don't see, we almost, like, put a gap between us and the person we admire and it freezes us in being able to go. Well, there goes me as well, I can do that. So, yeah, you have a lot of sayings, little short, pithy sayings that really are memorable. I've been thinking about those a lot and I have a collection of them in my notes. They aren't just clever marketing statements, they have personal meaning to you statements. They have personal meaning to you. Do you mind if I read out some of them and you give very let's, do it quickly, give me quickly the abridged version, the origin story, but also the personal why? Because I think they're and I think I'm right that've started for you. First. They've been a personal affirmation to lift you up. You ready, I'm ready. Let's go to probably one of the most famous one Pineapple season is coming.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. So this one was in 2019. I was in Hawaii with Kevin and we went to the Dole Pineapple Plantation because Kevin loves to do touristy stuff whenever we go to a new place. And we went on this Dole pineapple express, which is a little train that takes you all through the pineapple fields. And as we're on this pineapple train and Kevin's all giddy because he loves this stuff, all of a sudden this little voice comes to the speaker of the train and they're explaining to us how pineapples grow. And this, this guy on the train, the automated voice, is explaining pineapples take 18 months to grow One pineapple per plant at a time when the first pineapple is ready to be picked, it's picked, and then the second one takes up to a year to grow and then that one's picked and then we take out the whole plant and plant a whole new one. I'm listening to this. I did not know that that pineapples were one fruit per plant and it takes 18 months. It takes longer to grow a pineapple than a baby. I started thinking to myself. I wonder who the first person was that ever planted a pineapple and thought what the heck's wrong with these seeds. Nothing's growing 18 months.
Speaker 2:On the drive back from the pineapple fields back to our home. We were listening to music and I just got this feeling to write this text. And as I started writing it, one of the sentences I wrote was we sometimes question the timing of the universe. We think things should happen faster than they're happening. But what if mother nature, god, the universe, heard us and they received the seed and the way that we plant, the thoughts and the way that we water them, like? That's the soil that we plant, it's the seeds that we plant, it's the watering of the plants, the trust, it's the faith. What if everything has its aligned harvest time? What if the things that we've planted are on their way? What if golden fruits with crowns are worth being patient for?
Speaker 2:Pineapple season is coming and I've just kept that in my mind always. Like people could be a radish, I could meet a person today that ends up being my best client tomorrow or in three days from now. But also, sometimes pineapple season is coming and I meet a client and it takes them a year and a half before they decide. I'm the one. And is it worth still watering and still tending to the soil and still making sure they get everything they need. Yes, it is, and so, from taking that on, pineapple season is coming in 2019. The AlphaFem brands generated over $85 million in pineapples in people that took their own time and it's been a beautiful mantra for me.
Speaker 1:Do you take a lot of pressure off you at that particular time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think a lot of my work has to do with energetics like feminine energetics and masculine energetics. And it's like you plant the seed. That's masculine energetics. You make sure the soil is good it's masculine energetics. You water the soil a certain amount. That's masculine energetics. You choose the location to make sure that they get enough sun it's masculine energetics. But then you can't touch the plant at all. You can't uproot it to make sure the seed's okay. You can't check on it, you can't make it grow fast.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can't do anything to it other than lean back and trust and faith and let the sun and the rain do its magic. And that's so much of what I teach in alpha femme is we've got to do the masculine energy things. But then we have to have the faith, the inner capacity, the regulated nervous system to be able to have faith and trust in the timing of things and people and to not need to control every outcome or else we burn out Like this is what happens. It's the story of every woman's life. They come to me I did it the six-figure job, multiple six-figure, seven-figure job then I burnt out.
Speaker 2:Can I really do it another way? And I'm like, well, yeah, but we're going to have to build you from the inside out in the feminine kind of way, in the way where you believe rain is coming even when it's sunny, in the way where you believe that sun is coming even when it's raining. You have to have faith. You have to be strong on the inside to handle fear and stress and pressure very different than to push and force and do. But it's a. It's a similar kind of strength but it takes different skills.
Speaker 2:And it's been wild what's happened in my life since I've really leaned into these teachings and this way of living really. And pineapple season is coming is like the most beautiful mantra for me, because it reminds me there's nothing that I can force. That will be better than what the real aligned timing is. I can try to force a pineapple to grow faster if I want, but nothing will taste sweeter than the one that grew in the Hawaiian soil for 18 months in the summer sun and the Hawaiian rain and the tropical rain. That's the one that'll taste the best. So just trust. They're meant to grow that way.
Speaker 1:Breathe that in, everyone, pause and really drink that in. It's so powerful. Okay, the next one for me, for you, for us.
Speaker 2:This is such a big one and there's actually a couple of origin stories because the most tangible origin stories I literally had the feeling like write this down. And I wrote it and I was like, well, this isn't new. And it was like, no, like read it and I was like for me, for you, for us, it's normal. I always do things for me, for for us, and I was like, no, read it again and read it again until it hit me that I didn't do things for me, for you, for us, I did things for you. Common female problem. Yeah, like, if people are anything like me, you, we think that doing things for you is doing things for us. Yes, and we forget that doing things for you, if it's something that makes me happy, is something I do for me. So if I do it for you, then I've got to be happy that I'm doing it, because if I'm happy that I'm doing something for you, then there's an us. If I'm doing something for you that I don't want to be doing, that I'm bitter about, then the us is being bruised every time I do something for you that I don't want to do. And so that was one part of the origin story is understanding the nature and the importance of just doing things for you is not noble, nor does it create an us, and I think the strongest frequency in relationships is the us frequency. If you did something for me and I find out later you didn't want to do it, I'm not even happy. You did it. I want to know that you did it and you wanted to do it. I want to know that you care about us, that you love us, that you want to do things, us, we, us, together. That's the frequency I care about, and so that was a big piece of the puzzle.
Speaker 2:But the other part of it for me has been, in win-win-win situations, really looking for outcomes and thinking in my life when I've been the most hurt is when people have protected themselves and killed the relationship for it, like they weren't willing to stand for us. They just needed to make sure they were okay, and so finding the wisdom in saying, if I stand for us, if that's really what I'm standing for, then the way I'm going to make decisions and the way I'm going to communicate is very different than if I'm just standing for me, like if I give everything to you that I can until one day I realize that it's going against me and then one day I have to stand for me. That's kind of the typical conversation. But what if it was us all along? Then what would happen? So it's that triple win for me, for you, for us, my joy, your joy, our joy, my love, your love, our love. You know my success, your success, our success. And, fundamentally, when everything in my life was built in that frequency, everything started to skyrocket.
Speaker 2:For the longest time it was like being a good person was worn like a badge of honor, like I did this for you, and it wasn't until it was. I love doing this for you, because I love us. Right, that's what was missing all along. It's not a badge of honor to give. It's a gift you give yourself and others for a relationship.
Speaker 2:And if it doesn't feel like that, then it's not the aligned thing to do, and so I feel like I stopped over giving so much because it's like, if I don't, if it doesn't make me feel good to do it, it won't even feel good for them to receive it. So lean back, do less, but do what you do with all your heart, and it's paid off every single time, every single thing I've done for me, for you, for us has landed 100% of the time. The things I did for them not so much. Most of it went unnoticed, unappreciated, and I ended up feeling bitter and upset anyway. So this has been the frequency for me that has changed everything as far as overgiving or being in my masculine thinking it's feminine, energetics, being generous and kind like things you think you're being, when in fact you're giving, you're over giving to be liked, you're trying to look a certain way, you're wanting to control people's anger or upset feelings.
Speaker 1:It's actually all done in masculine a lot of the times and the next statement is I am the one or the one who got away. Oh, this is a good one.
Speaker 2:So this was. I had been in a very bad cycle of dating where I kept choosing people for the reason that I thought if I picked someone a little less fabulous than I wished for, they'd be happy, they'd be lucky to have me. Less fabulous than I wished for, they'd be happy, they'd be lucky to have me. You know, if I picked someone that was maybe a little less successful, a little less charismatic, a little bit less, whatever you want to call it that they would be grateful to have me and then they wouldn't leave, which would hurt so much more when they did leave, because inadvertently, of course when you have a person that that chooses you because, and only because, they think you're a little bit less than you, might not leave. It's a question of time before you run a mile. And so that happened.
Speaker 2:Um, and I think the beauty of it was I realized through, you know, a very big decision to change my life, that I was so afraid of just being alone. I had, I had the story that if I wasn't married by the time I was 25, I was going to be alone forever. And I was 25 and sleeping in the front seat of my car. So we were there and I just had to make the decision, like, I am not going to make this happen. I'm going to learn how to be an extraordinary partner. And I'm just going to be an extraordinary partner, not because I'm trying to keep a person, not because I'm trying to make them not leave me, not because I'm trying to prove Anything, but because that's who I am. And if I do that, in the end I'll be the one, and if I'm not the one, I'll be the one who got away. And I did this for relationships at first. That was the way I felt on every date I went on. It was a first date and I knew I was going on this first date and I will be the one or the one who got away. I enjoyed my date. I was entirely myself. I brought myself in my peak to the date, not to try to prove anything just because I'm either the one or the one who got away. It gave me so much freedom in my self-expression, in my relationship with myself, and eventually I brought these concepts to business.
Speaker 2:Instead of it being like you're going to lose a client, the clients are going to not hire you If you mess up, you're going to miss I was like no, I'm the one. If they don't hire me, I'm the one who got away. I'm the genius one. I'm the one that's got so much to offer. I'm going to continue learning and developing my skills. I will be the greatest coach mentor there is on this planet. I will do everything I've got in my power because it's who I am. So if they don't choose me, I'm the one who got away. I don't need to chase people and it changed my career entirely to do that. All my marketing advertising, everything I do is so different. Most people come to me and they're like you just don't have that energy most people have. When you're doing the thing, I'm like. I know there's something deep inside of me that changed early on in the journey and it affected things on a very big scale.
Speaker 1:Brilliant. Look, I've got probably 20 more. I could say. I'm just trying to think which way will we go limited time, knowing you were coming on? I had some questions put to me by my listeners so I thought, instead of sort of drawing them out, let's do them like in two minutes and we'll do real, real quick, like quick draw. All right, are we ready? Yes, what do you do to elevate your vibrational frequency every day?
Speaker 2:I live my life the way I want to think about it when I'm 90. I take every day of my life and I think about if I were 90 and I was given a chance to be 36 today, what would I be doing with my day? I just I choose today would I would be doing with my day? I just I choose today. Like I got it today, like it was a gift from the future I gave. I gave it to myself. It's a gift, it's not for granted. What do I want to do today? Immediately raises my vibe wow, wow. How do you solve conflict with Kevin? My gosh, there really is not a lot of conflict with kevin, like there really just is no conflict with kevin. Um, honestly, it's I, we care about each other so much. It's a for me, for you, for us relationship. The minute there's a feeling of something, it immediately just gets discussed like there's no conflict with kevin. There's misunderstandings with ke Kevin that get solved in communication at light speed. Was it always that way?
Speaker 1:That's my question.
Speaker 2:You know, when I first started dating Kevin, I had been through the whole I'm the one or the one who got away, kind of thing, and a big part of being the one in my mind I remember telling myself because I had made this list of like what's my dream partner and how am I going to feel with this dream partner. And I wrote, made this list of like what's my dream partner and how am I going to feel with this dream partner, and I wrote this whole list. And then I got this thought again not mine, but it came through my head and I knew listen to this, this is an important question. I said I heard in my mind a voice say if this is what you're asking for, who's that person asking for and are you that? And it kind of hit me for a second because I was like well, let me go through these and see. I want a person with a great sense of humor. Do I laugh? I want a person that is kind and compassionate. Do I respect that or do I still chase that high from the bad guy, the bad boy? I want the person who cares about their family. But do I really want that or do I want someone who's going to just swan off to Ibiza with me whenever I want, like what's the actual thing that I want? And so I actually refined my my list, and one of the big things on my list was I don't want, I want a relationship where there is absolute love, compassion and understanding, like I.
Speaker 2:The picture I painted was basically there's no conflict, and so it had to be. Well, who am I going to be in that then? And so I can't be perfect. I'm not going to not say when there's conflict, I've got to be as honest as possible, but I've got to forgive quickly and I've, and I've got to love more than I want to be right, and I've got it. Like, there was a lot of things I realized I needed to work on, and I worked on a lot of those things before I ever met Kevin and that.
Speaker 2:But the thing is, I manifested the one like, had I lost Kevin, he'd have been the one who got away. Had he lost me, I'd have been the one who got away. He was everything I needed in order to grow into the person I wanted to be, and I was everything he needed to become. Like both of us just completed each other, but it was. We never played games and one thing was for sure we were not about to let each other go. And I think when you know that in a relationship, conflict changes. Unless you fight for fun because you don't know your worth and I had worked on that you know some people fight for the high just to feel like they matter. I always knew I mattered with him. I think it was think it was just the perfect thing for us. I can't say this was the case in my other relationships, but with Kevin we've got it.
Speaker 1:Do you ever lose your temper, and how do you deal with it if you do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I've had some things that have happened in my life that I just wonder how anyone could possibly like. I wonder how you, how you become more successful and deal with some of the things Like I've dealt with people's character that's so intense and in the public eye, where you know they may not have a reputation they care about, and so they're willing to say things that never happened, in ways that didn't happen, and they'll say it loud as if it happened. And I have to look at it and be like is there any way I can, even is there even a way I can address this? And it's like there isn't. So I have to let a lie be a lie, spun in the worst way that never happened and I have to just let it. And that makes me mad, oh my gosh, it makes me mad, but I would never do anything about it publicly or I would never do anything. And so I talk it out, I talk it out with my closest friends, I talk it out with my family, I talk it about, I talk it with it out with Kevin and we laugh.
Speaker 2:I have one thing I have in common Like one thing I have that I'm so grateful for. I have the best friends. My relationship with my family has transformed 180 degrees. My relationship with Kevin is like a rom-com. We'd bug people if they could see the way we are. But we laugh about it Like they'll say something to me and they'll just crack me up. They know how to do it. Like I need a state change. You know we'll talk about it for a couple of seconds but then say something really sassy or say something.
Speaker 2:Kevin cracks me up Like next thing. I know I'm laughing, I'm crying, like I'm crying. I'm laughing so hard. So I think I just have the right circle around me also and they know me, you know. I think people around me also know the amount of pressure I'm under, knowing, like when something difficult like that happens, I have I can't really do anything about it, and so there's gotta be an outlet, there's gotta be a place to talk about it. And because of the way I handle everything else in my life, I have a really amazing support system. When something does is difficult for me, they're right there, and they're right there in the perfect way for me, and we turn the page really fast and we go back to business as usual. So I don't know if that answers the question, but that's the vibe.
Speaker 1:You can answer it however you want, that's fabulous, okay. Next question is where do you draw the line between life and coaching, especially when it comes to what experiences do or don't get shared?
Speaker 2:That's a really great question. When I first started, I shared everything. Like I just shared everything. I used my social media like a diary, Like I just shared everything. I used my social media like a diary.
Speaker 2:But something did start to happen when I became more successful. When we look at, like the tall poppy syndrome, the way you explained it before, like people just started saying really awful things about things that mattered to me a lot, People that mattered to me a lot, just really awful things about people's appearance or how they sounded. And I was like this nobody deserves this. Like that's not. Then you don't get to see. You don't just don't get to see. And there was something really powerful about that experience because I think I did eventually believe that the fact that people knew everything about my life was what was helping them choose me. But I just kept doing the same things in private, although they didn't show up in public, and nothing changed. And that's when I realized it's not about what you show, it's about what's true. And so I've shown less of my life than I ever have in the last two years and people still choose me because the strongest frequency on earth is the frequency of truth.
Speaker 2:So I don't share anything I don't want to share. I don't share anything because I have to. There's times I feel like there's lessons I want to share. There's times I feel like I want to show a little bit, but I'm so private in comparison to who I used to be because I don't need to show any of it. I don't need it for social proof. I don't need it for anything. The fact that I lived it energetically is enough. The pathways are squeaky clean. The people who are meant to find me find me. I don't need to prove any of it. That's the best part. Next question Thank you.
Speaker 1:How do you design or craft your image? I imagine that means branding consciously.
Speaker 2:I think it's based on what I love. Like I, I see beauty in everything, and one of the things I learned in my human design as I dove deep into it is that beauty is an alignment theme for me, and I was like gosh. There's no stronger truth than that. Like when I'm seeing something beautiful, I'm inspired, I'm lit up, and so I feel like what I show you is what I saw that took my breath away, the things that really impacted me. And I don't I don't, even though I speak a lot. I prefer to have people experience what I'm saying as much as possible. That's why I do the animations for the programs, and the photography is a really big part of what I do. Or my sales pages are like poetry A lot of the times, like I don't want to. I don't want you to buy this because of a logical thing I want you to feel it in your bones, and if you do, then that's it. I'll capture it in your bones, and if you do, then that's it.
Speaker 1:I'll capture it in an image, in a video in a song, in a poem, like you'll get it, and so I feel like the image of my brand is basically the way I look at the world. Great Last question Are you a unicorn? Do you really believe that if you could do it, so can others? Or is it a special calling on your life?
Speaker 2:I believe that I became a unicorn because I did what no one else was willing to do. So I've seen people in my career that I was like if you just did this, you would be it. I watched them fight against themselves and I watched them fight against others and I watched them get distracted by the things that are hard and I watch them stumble with a mistake and get caught up in their pride and their ego and get caught up in their old identity and then just sabotage and then not do it and then claim it's because they can't or they're not good enough and I'm like, nope, that wasn't it. I watched that happen and that and this and that, and it's all an internal game, and so we're all special. That's the thing.
Speaker 2:Every single one of us has a story that could be uniquely told, that could inspire the world. We've all been given very unique pathways to impact people, but what really makes you the unicorn is the fact that you do it when no one else will. A lot of people are visionaries, they have ideas, they have thoughts, but to create thought into tangible reality, you've got to be one heck of a leader. You've got to be strong. You've got to be so strong on the inside and we don't really have great models to teach us that Unless you had a genius parent who's teaching us emotional regulation it's just not even a part of the process.
Speaker 2:So I feel like the fact that my journey led me down the path that it did made it that I just did what I needed to do, and my goal and my desire with Alpha Femme is to create an incubation where you come in and I help you grow your unicorn. You know your your special unicorn horn or your wings or like I want to. I want to help you do the things no one else is doing. I want to help you go beyond the fears where everyone else doesn't. I want you like that's. What makes you special in the end is that you do it when others won't. So we all have the potential to do it, but the unicorns are the ones who do with their potential.
Speaker 1:Thank you, and thank you to everyone who supplied those questions. They were great. Melanie, I've got one last question. It's kind of the theme that I've been asking a lot of people that come on lately, but I want to open up. Is there anything else on your heart that you would like to share with the listeners, the viewers?
Speaker 2:The one thing that came up when you asked that is, I would love to redefine personal development. I think, at the very core, a lot of people take personal development to prove that they are changing, to prove that they're working on themselves. They do it for other people, they do it to try to be better, as if they're not good enough. Instead of realizing, whoever, mother nature, god, the universe, has whispered truths down into human ears that some people have heard that, if we want, we can listen and change our life experience because we want. We're not not good enough. If we don't do it, there's nothing wrong with us. We're not a better person if we do it like better than another person. We just get to experience a different kind of life, one where maybe we have what other people think is unicorn powers or superhero powers. We get to have shortcuts where some things take a long time because we're willing to rely on very interesting laws that most people don't even know about. We're basically going and learning something because we want to, because there's a part of us that says you know what? I think I do really well with that. I want that experience, I want that to be who I am, and so it's not a. It's not a validation thing or something you wear as a badge of honor. As a matter of fact, doesn't matter if you don't tell anyone at all.
Speaker 2:And this is the biggest breakthrough I think I've really found in this personal development journey is that it changes you so deeply that even if you didn't tell a person about it and you just lived by it, your life would change.
Speaker 2:Don't do it for show, and the people who do it for show are the ones who make it look cheesy, who make it sound so la-di-da. There is no simpler thing than this work, and if you do it for you, your life is just greater. Your life, your experience of your life is greater for it. And so anything you've listened to today like I just hope it goes through the filter, not of I think you should do it, or if you don't do it, there's something wrong or something like that. Like everything I'm saying here is just the facts of what happened when I did and what my hopes are for humanity and the way that I bring personal development forward and hopes that I can really bring something to the public that is maybe not even understood in this way yet, like to revolutionize people's experience of this work so it can be taken in in a really self-constructive way.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for being with us. I've got one more question. Yes, it's a hundred years time. Yes, a hundred years away. What would you like to be remembered for and what would you like to see in the world as a result of your work? Today?
Speaker 2:This is the best question I would love oh, that makes me emotional.
Speaker 2:I would love that in personal development rooms, when people talk about their lineage, they talk about how proud they are of their mothers.
Speaker 2:I would want mothers, I would want daughters, to be talking about how grateful they were for their incredible mother to be sharing stories of their lineage again, to be sharing stories of their ancestors again, to be feeling like they're part of a lineage they don't need to run away from or escape from or save the future from that.
Speaker 2:They're actually on a journey of passing the torch and passing the baton down their lineage from something they're proud of, that they're equipped already and they're looking for even greater ways, not because there's something wrong, but because they know what, like cultivating, thought about this work can do. And they're interested in growth because why not? Not because something's broken, but because they have evidence of what can be built. And I would love for I would love if alpha fem's teachings like if being an alpha fem means that being an alpha fem means that you're the grandmother they talk about the mother they talk about Not in therapy because they need to understand why you did what you did, but in self-development, as they celebrate the path. You lit for them and that's the Alpha Femme way.
Speaker 1:Wow, I love that You've thought about that a lot. Wow, I love that You've thought about that a lot.
Speaker 2:I just feel like in a lot of the rooms that I lead, the conversation leads back to people who think their mothers didn't love them, who think that it was hard growing up, that it's hard to be a woman, that it's unfortunate to be a woman, that things have happened to them that no one protected them from. That life happened to them in a way they weren't prepared for that. They still have so many of their childhood wounds and they've never worked through them and the responsibility of their still-wounded parents and grandparents are still on their shoulders and they can't escape. They still feel traumatized by how they can and can't behave. They're still afraid of not fitting in or being told off, even in their grown adult ages. Like there's a rite of passage missing. There's something missing in civilization as it is and there's not.
Speaker 2:It's so rare that someone comes into my world and celebrates their mother. It's usually they've got to heal because of that relationship. And what would it look like three generations down if the grandmother, the mother and the daughter were a lineage that was proud to bring someone new into the world with nothing to fix, with more of an extension, energy, and we could do that. We could do that in one generation. We could Just like that. We change the future, just that. Oh, I love this. Thank you, you for asking questions a really great question.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I really appreciate your time and I I can't wait to show you off to my world. I'm good at showing off other people, um, but thank you so much for your time, your wisdom, and I can't wait to see more and more of the impact you have on this planet.
Speaker 2:That means the world. Thank you so much, and thank you for having me. I've really enjoyed every minute of this.
Speaker 1:I love this. I learned things from you that I haven't heard elsewhere. Well see, that's the beauty of your question. Yeah, thank you.